This isn’t an easy thing for me to admit and not a lot of my friends know but I decided to share my story..

Last Friday (A week ago) I decided to try and overdose on pills in front of my two best guy friends..

Luckily I didn’t take enough for a stomach pump or anything and I am totally healthy.

I have been going through HELL and back and I don’t think some people in my life understand this.

So a word of advice for some.. Try to be there and listen to a friend when they are going through a rough time like I have.

Ignoring that person, avoiding that person, being afraid of that person, or anything within in that sorts.. Well isn’t going to help either of you.

I don’t blame ANY Of my friends for what I did because the one’s I did it in front of are WONDERFUL.

Just please don’t take people in life for granted. And DO NOT fear mental health issues. It is no different from fearing a friend or ignoring them because they have diabetes or cancer.

photogirl91:

mynameisdug:

justicemercy:

#revivalapparel (Taken with Instagram)

God is SO good right now. This could be the start of something amazing! :)

-He

I am bringing this back.

I know neither of us deleted the blog. And this was my blog originally for some of those that didn’t know..

I thought I would write a quick update for those of you wondering what may be new or what has been going on the past few months.

First off I am going to say the last 3 months of my life have been the toughest months I have ever lived in my entire life.

I started counseling in September over severe anxiety I was happening and started to see a psychiatrist.

I was then put on the medication Zoloft for my anxiety and depression. Needless to say I didn’t have a good reaction to it one bit.. So after almost 2 weeks on it I felt very suicidal and was thinking things I never would have before it. I then told the psychiatrist at my campus this..

An ambulance then came and go me and took me to the local psych hospital. I am not going to go into much detail about that place but I swear it is hell on Earth needless to say. And I pray NONE Of you have to experience it. And if you have already before I am very sorry.

Luckily I was only in there for 22 hours and was able to go back to my dorms and return to a normal life.  Yet, my thoughts and anxiety still stayed there as I had to get off Zoloft. This was not easy one bit and so I decided to see a new psychiatrist. Which then led me to start two new medications..

Yet, those didn’t appear to help with my anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or depression either.

Until last week where I cracked BIG time. I had pills in my hand on Tuesday night and I was sure I was just ready to leave this world. I didn’t care what I said to anyone and I hurt some people along the way.. Then Saturday came and I still felt suicidal and decided to reach out to friends. I then got sent to the ER to get a cat scan of my brain but no damage was found.. Then after there I was sent by to the SAME psych hospital once more..

This time I was there for 26 hours and I even saw some of the same people the last time I was there. I saw even worse things this time.. That I am not exactly ready to tell to everyone just yet. But I was thankful to get out of there by far. So I got to get back to my normal life on Monday back with my friends..

Who needless to say were all very worried and freaked.. My suicidal thoughts were even worse. I started to write goodbye letters to all my friends near and dear to me. So I didn’t just leave them with nothing. I was bawling my eyes out and I just couldn’t do it anymore.. Yet, one of my close friends at the dorm figured it out and came over.

Soon after that my mom decided to have my dad pick me up from school because I was not safe there at all.

So I am sure some of you are wondering where I am now and what is going on.. Well my parents and I are discovering I most likely have an EXTREME case of OCD.. Mainly the Obsessive part though where you have thoughts that do not go away at all. They keep going in a circle. It can be from wanting to eat cake all day to even your own sexuality and gender. It is a very confusing disease for other’s to understand.. And I am learning that. But I want to educate people on it because it is not a fun disease at all and it is VERY tough.

I started to see a new therapist yesterday who specializes in OCD and I am going to see her twice a week and I am on medication for OCD. I am not going to lie and say I don’t feel like I want to die every day still. It is a tough battle I am fighting and scary. I just want all of you to know that mental illness is NOT something that can be seen by the eye.. It isn’t like a friend coming to you with a broken arm. So if a friend is trying to reach out please listen.. If they try to push you away do NOT let them.. I have learned this the hard way. I know I don’t have the right to blame everything I have done on my illness. But I will admit it is not easy..

If you have anymore questions feel free to ask. Thanks for reading.. I know it is long.

-She

YOU ARE MADE NEW

Please know that you are loved and that no one deserves to lose their life to suicide, especially from a place that is seen by millions all over the world. The Golden Gate Bridge is a place of triumph, celebration, and man’s achievements, not failures and disappointment.

If you see someone attempting suicide, find any one of these phones on the bridge and call. You could be saving someone’s life.

(Photo taken by Katie)

-He&She

Need a gift for a friend or family member?

Want to help raise awareness on self-harm, depression, and suicide?

Well than why not buy one of these bracelets that Travis designed? :)

It would be a great gift to us and mean a lot if you did.

Or even if you just told your friends about it!

Thank you!

http://revivalapparelstore.blogspot.com/p/buy-bracelet.html

-She

Buy a REVIVAL APPAREL “Don’t Cut Here” Bracelet!

Prices are:

$3 for One Bracelet +$1 Shipping

$5 for Two Bracelets + $1 Shipping

$8 for Three Bracelets + $1 Shipping

Click Here To Purchase!

justicemercy:

#revivalapparel (Taken with Instagram)

God is SO good right now. This could be the start of something amazing! :)

-He

(via justicemercy-deactivated2012081)

justicemercy:

I don’t think it’s possible for me to be any more excited about this ministry. Revival Apparel is an amazing organization started by two very good friends of mine. It’s mission is to spread the message “I Am Made New”. Through the power of Christ, this ministry will help those suffering from self-harm. Please support this ministry by going online to revivalapparel.wordpress.com and get involved. (Taken with Instagram)

Yup. This is happening right now. Jessica got my shirt package!

Oh hallelujah Lord Jesus! It is a good day!

-He

(via justicemercy-deactivated2012081)

I had never signed up for this class almost. I am glad that it helps me be a step closer to graduating.. But I honestly hate this class.

I am sitting next to two classmates and they are drawing SO amazing for this last project..

Yet, here I am using photography that does not take half the work that they are going to have to do..

I wish I practiced drawing more when I was growing up. I also wish I wasn’t out of ideas…

We have to do do a storyboard or comic strip type thing..

Yet, I can’t draw worth a darn so I am using photographs but still have to show editing work..

If any of you have ideas send my way ha..

Oh the life of a Photography/Art major….

-She

You should order a Revival Package :)

Travis is working his butt off to make packaging for the bracelets :)

So all of you who already ordered a package, feel special and loved ha because you are :)

Also, Tell him Thank you!!

Shh you didn’t hear this from me :))

-She

HELP MY PROJECT GET STARTED!! YOU DON’T NEED TO HAVE A PAYPAL ACCOUNT BUT YOU CAN PAY WITH PAYPAL GUEST.

For $15 dollars, you will get all of this! I am trying my best to be able to display some of these items on my presentation day in one month.  The shirts will take two weeks for them to arrive here before I can start sending them off to anyone. Please be patient as this is my Senior Project, but I would love any help for all of our followers! The more shirts, the better!

Go to my old blog RIVERBYDAY.BLOGSPOT.COM to buy the package! For some reason, WordPress is not allowing me to upload the payment button on here.

HURRY AND ORDER YOURS NOW!

-He

ANNOUNCING REVIVAL APPAREL!!

This has been my idea for a few years and I have always wanted to create a clothing company that uses artistic designs to raise awareness about teenage depression and suicide.  I am already in the process in creating shirt designs, but will be providing a few samples of products for my senior project presentation in exactly one month!

I will be showing my first shirt, stickers, bracelets, posters, and other various things associated with the project. But I will also be providing all the necessary resources for helping anyone who may be struggling with these thoughts and need love and encouragement. 

PLEASE SUPPORT OUR PROJECT! IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT FOR MY GRADUATION BUT ALSO FOR EVERYONE WHO IS STRUGGLING.

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Here is the video sharing our story as to why we chose to start this project.

-He